2 lbs cooked, diced baby (substitute smoked or honey ham if baby is not available in your area)
10 cups water
2 cups cream
1 cup minced garlic (fresh is best, out of a jar if you must. Powdered? Are you kidding? Go get some real garlic, chump)
1 lb great northern beans
1 lb lima beans (substitute with split peas if you’re feeling fancy)
6 white onions, quartered
1 green bell pepper, 1 yellow bell pepper, 1 red bell pepper; all chopped coursely
6 drams of pure evil (substitute with virgin tears if pure evil is too rich for your tastes. Cheapskate.)
Seasonings: celery salt, white pepper, black pepper, italian herbs (all to taste, as you like) and 2 bay leaves
Instructions: Dump the beans into a ginormous pot (ginormous = 5 gallon pot should do nicely) with the water and seasonings. Boil them mercilessly for about 1 hour. Add the seasonings in the proportions you’ve determined to be tasty; I can’t tell you what’s tasty or not, you’ll just have to experiment, though I highly recommend watching yourself with the celery salt- too much will catch up with you when the soup thickens, and that’s just not right.
Add your diced baby , onions and bell peppers to the pot. Stir in the cream. Turn the heat down to a low simmer and let it cook for about 8 hours.
Serves approximately 16-32 amoralist pigs, or one small catholic family, as you prefer.