Homemade Tater-Tots (serves 4-6 hungry atheists)

by

Software:

  • 4-5 fist sized white potatoes
  • 1 egg
  • 1/4 cup flour
  • Enough canola oil to deep fry tots in (you be the judge)
  • Fried, dried onions to taste (optional)

Hardware:

  • Deep fryer, or tall pan
  • Soup spoon, or 1 inch melon baller
  • Food processor (optional, but HIGHLY recommended)
  • Mixing bowl
  • Stove (if no deep fryer)

Directions:

  1. Clean, de-eye, and quarter-cut potatoes
  2. Run potatoes through food processor until the size of the potato pieces are about the size of your pinky nail
  3. If you don’t have a food processor, chop them bitches up fine
  4. In a mixing bowl put the potatoes, 1 egg and about half the flour, then mix
  5. Keep adding flour until you can scoop out a lump of the mix with your spoon and have it all fall out of the spoon in one lump (in other words: until it gets a little thick (but not too thick))
  6. Turn your deep fryer or stove on to medium heat
  7. Test the heat of the oil with a small bit of tot-batter; if the lump does not fall apart due to the bubbling you’re good to go
  8. Using the melon baller or soup spoon scoop out lumps of tot-batter into the hot oil
  9. Cook tots until crispy golden brown
  10. Eat
  11. If you’re feelin’ frisky, whip up some honey-mustard for dipin’
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One Response to “Homemade Tater-Tots (serves 4-6 hungry atheists)”

  1. GBS Says:

    Finally, a tater-tot recipe that makes some sense!
    All the others I’ve seen use some sort of potato mush… maybe those other cooks didn’t have a childhood (I’ve never eaten, or seen, a mushy potato tot). These are perfect, kids and adults will love ’em.

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