Author Archive

Flying Spaghetti Monster Recipe

December 29, 2007

– body: pasta fresca
– balls: fried tofu balls
– eyes: rice cakes and kalamata olives.

*Pasta Fresca* serves 2

[ingredients]
– 1 1/4cup semolina flour
– 1/2 cup water
– 1 tbs olive oil

[directions]
– combine the ingredients and knead for 2 minutes
– rest the dough for 30 minutes
– roll and cut into strips
– set aside to dry (for a few hours)
– it takes about 3 minutes to cook in boiling water

*Fried Tofu Balls* makes 2 dozen balls


[ingredients]

– 1 package firm tofu, drained and mashed
– 1/2 onion, minced
– 1 tbs olive oil
– 1 tbs wheat germ
– 1 tbs bread crumbs
– 1 tbs flour
– 1 tsp oregano
– 1 tsp red chili pepper
– oil for frying
– 2 cups marinara sauce

[directions]

– combine all the ingredients
– make small balls (about 1tbs each) and fry them
– simmer in marinara sauce

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Baby Burger**

December 29, 2007

Ingredients:

  • 1 baby
  • 1 hamburger bun, or hoagie roll
  • Lettuce
  • Ketchup
  • Onions
  • Mayo

Directions:

  1. Place baby and toppings on bun
  2. Eat

**Just kidding

White Trash Cereal (serves 1 white trash atheist)

December 29, 2007

Ingredients:

  • M&Ms
  • Reese’s Pieces (the candy coated peanut butter morsels)
  • Milk (optional)

Directions:

  1. Put M&Ms and Reese’s Pieces in a cereal bowl (and milk if desired)
  2. Place mixture in microwave on high for 45 seconds, or until M&Ms have melted
  3. Eat like cereal with a spoon and a big smile on your face

Homemade Tater-Tots (serves 4-6 hungry atheists)

December 29, 2007

Software:

  • 4-5 fist sized white potatoes
  • 1 egg
  • 1/4 cup flour
  • Enough canola oil to deep fry tots in (you be the judge)
  • Fried, dried onions to taste (optional)

Hardware:

  • Deep fryer, or tall pan
  • Soup spoon, or 1 inch melon baller
  • Food processor (optional, but HIGHLY recommended)
  • Mixing bowl
  • Stove (if no deep fryer)

Directions:

  1. Clean, de-eye, and quarter-cut potatoes
  2. Run potatoes through food processor until the size of the potato pieces are about the size of your pinky nail
  3. If you don’t have a food processor, chop them bitches up fine
  4. In a mixing bowl put the potatoes, 1 egg and about half the flour, then mix
  5. Keep adding flour until you can scoop out a lump of the mix with your spoon and have it all fall out of the spoon in one lump (in other words: until it gets a little thick (but not too thick))
  6. Turn your deep fryer or stove on to medium heat
  7. Test the heat of the oil with a small bit of tot-batter; if the lump does not fall apart due to the bubbling you’re good to go
  8. Using the melon baller or soup spoon scoop out lumps of tot-batter into the hot oil
  9. Cook tots until crispy golden brown
  10. Eat
  11. If you’re feelin’ frisky, whip up some honey-mustard for dipin’